Pile of filthy snow in mall parking lot somehow still there
MONTREAL – Local eyewitnesses have recently confirmed that despite temperatures well above 10 degrees Celsius, that giant pile of disgusting snow in the mall parking lot has somehow survived. “I’m...
View ArticleTwelve Montreal sinkholes given heritage status
MONTREAL—City officials have announced that twelve historic Montreal sinkholes have been declared heritage sites to protect them from redevelopment. “We have an obligation to preserve and celebrate...
View ArticleMontreal’s retired Old Port carriage horses relocated to Calgary Stampede...
MONTREAL – A recently announced ban on horse-drawn carriages or “calèches” in the Old Port of Montreal has allowed calèche horses to move on to new and exciting careers in the chuck wagon races of the...
View ArticleProducers of SLĀV cancel show to concentrate on new revue of songs of...
MONTREAL – Singer Betty Bonifassi and director Robert Lepage have cancelled the remaining performances of SLĀV, a showcase of slave songs performed and directed primarily by white people, at the...
View ArticleThird year McGill student hopes to visit Montreal someday
MONTREAL — At a barbecue last Sunday, third-year McGill student Katie Chang mentioned, to the shock of her friends and family, that she would “love to visit Montreal someday.” The commerce student who...
View ArticleGroundbreaking Montreal artist shocks community by changing ‘Arrêt’ sign to...
MONTREAL — A subversive piece of public art has sent tremors through the Montreal art community and the city at large: At the corner of Rachel and Mont-Royal an unnamed artist has transformed a panneau...
View ArticleMontreal riots after Boston loss
MONTREAL – Hundreds of rowdy revelers were arrested and businesses were looted in Montreal after an opposing team beat the Boston Bruins to win the Stanley Cup. “We did it!” said Michel Tanguay after...
View ArticleNew law requires Quebec to show its racism visibly
QUEBEC CITY – Quebec Premier François Legault has announced that his government has passed legislation requiring all citizens of Quebec to visibly show their contempt for religious and racial...
View ArticleStill searching for buyer, Montreal Alouettes now listed as fully furnished
MONTREAL — In an attempt to entice an offer for the Montreal Alouettes, of which the Canadian Football League has recently taken ownership and has been struggling to find a potential buyer, the League...
View ArticleHalf of Osheaga too high to realize festival ended 2 days ago
MONTREAL – Roughly 20,000 spectators have continued to attend Montreal’s indie music festival at Parc Jean-Drapeau unaware that the event ended some two days ago. Revellers who had not come down from...
View ArticleMontreal halts road construction until everyone can enjoy it again
MONTREAL – The City of Montreal has decided to halt all road construction due to COVID-19 making it impossible for commuters to enjoy traffic delays as they usually do. “One of the pinnacles of...
View ArticleToppling of statue causes temporal rift as John A. MacDonald erased from history
MONTREAL – Time and space as we know it was thrown into temporal flux today as protestors pulled down a statue of Sir John A. MacDonal, causing Canada’s first prime minister to be suddenly erased from...
View ArticleMontreal rioters concerned COVID rules are destroying small businesses before...
MONTREAL – Rioters who took to the streets in Old Montreal last night are concerned that current COVID restrictions are recklessly harming small businesses before they have a fair chance at destroying...
View ArticleJust for Laughs Festival files for bankruptcy protection just before jumping...
MONTREAL – The world-renowned Montreal Just for Laughs comedy festival sadly announced this week that they would be seeking creditor protection before bursting out of a nearby cardboard box wearing a...
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